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Notes From Hairenik
December 23, 2004
The Godfather, Part II

godfather
Originally uploaded by Notes From Hairenik.

I am seen on the far right, in partial disbelief that Karen was actually going through with it. (Onnik Krikorian photo)

Posted by Christian Garbis at 3:45 AM.
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December 16, 2004
The Godfather, Part II
An interesting, quite touching favor was asked of me just shortly after my arrival in September -- I was honored to have been offered the privilege of serving as the 'kavor,' or the Godfather, for my close friend Karen Minasian, who I have known for over two years.

Karen was my savior during the last half of 2002 when an illness related to a medical condition that I have struck me leaving me partially incapacitated, thereby interrupting my stay and forcing me to return to Boston. Since then our bonds have grown so close that we are now as brothers, sharing the same love/hate relationships that siblings enjoy.

Several weeks ago I was asked whether I would be the 'kavor,' the meaning of which I did not immediately comprehend. Then Karen's father, Sergey Minasian, ruminated for a few moments before realizing that I would better understand the more accepted Armenian word, 'gnkahair,' both terms having the same principle but have slightly different connotations (see the previous journal entry, The Godfather). At first I was quite touched to have been considered for this title, but then became slightly anxious once I learned about the various responsibilities that I would have to undertake. During the course of six weeks I became familiar with the various rituals involved in traditional weddings and how the Godfather acts as the general wedding director. Sergey as well as his wife and brothers were eager to relay to me the intricacies of the Godfather tradition, and how I could best serve in the role commensurate to my abilities.

In reality, although I was told time and time again that I would have to serve as the director, the wedding plans were going in full swing without me. But when present during the planning discussions, Sergey or one of his brothers would ask me to chime in and give my opinion on whether, for instance, to use Russian RAF or Gazelle minibuses, or if in fact the traditional, ever-vague Armenian "kufta" dish [kufta is a term that can be used to describe virtually any boneless meat dish; countless variations of this meal exist in Armenian cuisine] should be served as a third course just after the cherished barbeque roast pork was distributed and devoured. I presented my answers sternly and with confidence to disguise the fact that I didn't know what I was talking about.

More on this soon….

In the posted photo I am seen on the far right, in partial disbelief that Karen was actually going through with it.

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Posted by Christian Garbis at 5:28 PM.
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December 15, 2004
The Godfather
In Armenian weddings the role of the best man or Godfather, known in Armenia as the “kavor,” is sacred and vital. The Godfather is chosen by the groom-to-be in close consultation with immediate as well as close extended family members. The decision must be a wise one as a family considers the Godfather to be a close relative, once he has been initiated into the clan. Then it is up to the Godfather to take the helm of the wedding plans and act as the general director, having say in how the wedding events will progress during the day, where the ceremony will take place, how many people should be expected to come, and even what the menu will be for the reception meal.

The wedding Godfather is separate from the christening Godfather. In Armenian customs the two are distinct, and the same man should not serve in both roles for the same person. Godfathers are under constant pressures during the planning as well as the unfolding of events during the wedding. The Godfather is responsible for figuring out whether all plans have been scheduled appropriately and all goods and services necessary to help facilitate the wedding process have been acquired or reserved. During the wedding day the Godfather must ensure that all appointments are kept according to a strict timeline prepared weeks in advance, and that all guests are notified of the celebration event of the moment.

In Armenia it is customary to follow various rituals that have been performed for countless number of years in the nation’s history. Many of the customs call for the payment of a monetary sum to resolve a supposed unforeseen circumstance. The Godfather must ensure that these customs are not only followed but are properly carried out. He is also the one that must pay out the required sums, and ensure that both parties—those providing the customary services and those that want the services performed and done with as soon as possible—are obliged.

For instance, custom requires that the groom and the party representing him, led by his Godfather, venture to the bride’s living compound in order to whisk her away to the church and marry her before the eyes of God. But in order for that ceremony to take place, the bride needs to leave her own home, which is problematic, as the Godfather will need to resolve some matters beforehand. Firstly, the Godfather must ensure that his groom enters the home without difficulty from external or internal forces. Once in the home, the Godfather must ensure that his own wife—or the woman pretending to be his wife—helps prepare the bride for marriage by helping the women of her family to dress her. Usually there is always a clever person who manages to steal one of the bride’s shoes, and the thief must be paid a ransom for returning it, paid by the Godfather via his wife. One the bride is properly fitted the groom begins to make their exit from the home, but not before stopping at a table prepared especially for toasting to await the warm wishes from his Godfather, to be heard by all in attendance. But when the bride and groom make their way to leave her home, they are most definitely met by a road block in the form of a brother or other close male family member, who stands in the doorway holding a knife in the door jamb. The Godfather must persuade the gentleman to let the bride and groom pass, and with the offer of a generous monetary sum the knife is removed.

The Godfather also is the guarantor of the marriage bond between the bride and groom in the church, under the direction of the priest and deacon. The Godfather aides to consecrate the marriage by participating in the ceremony, thereby forging the couple’s unity by the power of the holy cross. After marriage the Godfather as well as his wife stand beside the groom and bride, respectively, to receive good wishes from their guests. Then when the newlyweds exit the church, he and his wife participate with them in the release of doves symbolizing their newly forged union. Naturally, the Godfather is obliged to reward the dove keeper for his pains.

It is a great honor to serve as the Godfather, one that is rarely if not ever turned down. The Godfather is treated with utmost respect by family members as well as friends of the bride and groom. He is solely responsible for the success of the marriage ceremony and celebrative events, and represents the couple before their community as well as before God. He retains his title after the wedding’s completion until his death, as well as posthumously.

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Posted by Christian Garbis at 1:09 AM.
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