Realizations

Today I came to some realizations about life, bittersweet yet somehow comforting at the same time. I now understand that no matter what good intentions you may have in your actions or deeds, no matter what kind of person you are — whether you are true to your word, you are honest with yourself and others, and you live by an ethic of morality and selflessness — you are never going to please everyone, even those who you think are closest to you.

They may feel let down at times for your mistakes or things that happened in life that veered out of control due to paradoxical circumstances you never intended to find yourself in. But if they can’t get over those hiccups and forgive you for your shortcomings then it’s really time to discover how your relationship is to flourish, or else wither.

During the last year I’ve made a lot of deep, introspective decisions in the way I want to live my personal life, not just for my own sake but more importantly for my sons’ well being. I continually yearn for the state of contentment and inner peace that I thought I had attained, as it’s always so hard to guard, to keep close to me. The way to maintain it is undeniably through the disciplines of meditation and prayer, vigilance and perseverance. Despite the strides I’ve made in keeping my emotions in check, to be true to my word, to not take things so personally, I still stumble along my path. But I keep going forward, I never retrace my steps to figure out what I tripped on, unlike how I had done for so long in my past. And I can’t be held back by people who want me to remain where I slipped and agonize over it, with tears of despair and dread dampening the lifeless red clay soil of spent misfortune.

We make mistakes, things happen that we don’t expect. We move on. We make due with the circumstances, we learn from where we erred, and we strive to be better people. There’s really no alternative in order to live a meaningful, honest life, one that is fruitful and thrives on unquenchable ambition to be stronger, exceptional. Keep a-goin’.

Photos from my archives.